This year, my husband and I celebrated 10 years of marriage and 11 years together. I remember the day we were married like it was yesterday. We were in our late 30’s when God finally brought us together. We knew for certain that God’s hands were all over and in our relationship.
The only problem was that we were two imperfect people (as we all are) coming together to be united as one. Just like any married couple, life brought with it blessings and heartache. There is no way to avoid being hurt or hurting your spouse. At some point or another, something that is said or done, will cause hurt. Even if it is unintentional.
When we were married, the verse from Ecclesiastes, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” became central to our commitment to each other. We always believed that if we looked to God, even the hardest times would pass. (I am not speaking with regard to staying in an abusive relationship. That is a dangerous situation and needs to be handled immediately-if you are in one, please seek help!) I am talking about anything else that might arise in a relationship. Even though we both believed and had faith, were we truly walking with God the way He intended and were we treating each other as His most treasured children? I would say, no.
During the course of our relationship, we were blessed with two beautiful children who amaze us each day with their understanding of who God is and what place He should have in their lives. If only we were always like that, like Jesus told us to be. Childlike. Not childish, but childlike. There is a big difference. What if we believed with that kind of faith? What could that do in our lives?
At one time we thought that having children, having a house, having a job would be enough. But it wasn’t. We yearned for more. The heartache continued. We became like roommates. Does that sound familiar? If it doesn’t, count that as a blessing!
One day, we finally sat down and watched the movie Fireproof. Wow. Smacked in the face big time by God. What were we doing? We both loved each other so much and vowed to never leave, but had we already left? Maybe not the house. Had we “checked out”? I think so. We continued to watch the movie and with each new scene, we found ourselves identifying more and more with the characters. We thought these questions. Was I really like that? Did I really think that? Did I really make him/her feel that way? The scenes in our life were different, but the feelings were the same. The reality was that the main cord that held these two imperfect people together was not treated with the respect that was deserved. We kept trying to fix things on our own, having talks over and over, rehashing the same hurts and ending up in the same place. Feeling lost, hurt and alone. Are you there? I can tell you from experience. There is hope. And the only hope is gained through a growing an strengthening of a personal relationship with Jesus.
We had made a commitment to each other, but more importantly to God. How could we expect God to bless our marriage, if we weren’t focusing on growing closer to Him?
I would listen to the song “Love is Not a Fight” by Warren Barfield from the Fireproof soundtrack. I would listen to the song over and over. Something resonated with me. In my heart and my soul. Everytime he would get to the verse, “May God send angels to guard the door…”, I would get chills. I knew deep in my spirit that God had done that for me and my husband.
But how did God send angels to “guard the door”? Some days it was His spirit in BOTH of us telling us to never walk out in the midst of a disagreement. Maybe it was looking in our childrens’ eyes and BOTH of us realizing there was more at stake than our hurt egos and feelings. Maybe it was a person who spoke words of encouragement to us. Or maybe, just maybe, it was a movie and a song. How it happened, doesn’t matter. What matters is that God promised us a future and knew the plans for us. Our favorite family verse is Jeremiah 29:11 which speaks to this. If we continue to look up and let Him lead, He will take us where we are meant to be.
So, who brought me here? My Savior. The One who has led me here. Who led my husband and I back to each other. Who died for people like us, who mess up all the time and yet, He never leaves.
I have no idea where this blog will lead. I am willingly obeying His call. I had no idea I would ever write a blog about marriage or family life since I already have another blog and am a busy homeschooler, but when God tells me to do something now, I listen. With a growing childlike faith in the midst of my oftentimes childish behavior.
I do want to take a moment and thank my husband. He is supporting me along this journey and that means more than he will ever know.